Growth mindset in real life…..I don’t know about you, but I’ve had plenty of “stuck” seasons in life. Like, paralyzed by my own brain stuck. The kind where your to-do list is longer than a CVS receipt, and instead of doing anything on it, you’re on the couch googling if pigeons ever get tired of walking funny (don’t ask).
That’s usually when someone chirps in with: “It’s all about having a growth mindset.”
And my knee-jerk reaction? Ugh, not that buzzword again.
But here’s the thing—once you actually start noticing what a growth mindset in real life looks like (not just in cheesy LinkedIn posts or corporate workshops where everyone is pretending to care)… it kinda sneaks up on you. And it changes stuff.
The Subway Fail That Weirdly Proved the Point
So picture this: me, on the F train, years back. I had just bombed an interview downtown. Like, full-on disaster. My brain froze when the guy asked, “Tell me about a challenge you overcame.” And instead of talking about, you know, work experience, I mumbled something about surviving a family Monopoly game where everyone cheated.
Yeah. That was my answer.
I left thinking, Welp, guess I’m unemployable forever.
But here’s where the growth mindset thing snuck in. A week later, I forced myself to do another interview, even though my ego still felt like it got hit by a cab. And I actually used that story—this time, I told it with humor, framed it as “navigating conflict resolution,” and the guy laughed so hard he offered me the job.
Same story. Different mindset.
That’s growth mindset in real life. Not perfection. Not motivational quotes taped to your mirror. Just… learning to see a flop as data, not a death sentence.
Why “Stuck” Feels So Heavy
Being stuck feels permanent. Like you’re cemented in place while everyone else is sprinting past you—new jobs, new houses, new gym selfies. Queens is brutal for this, by the way. People around here are hustling non-stop. Your neighbor opens a food truck while you’re still trying to return that library book you lost three years ago.
And that heaviness? It usually comes from believing you can’t change. Fixed mindset. The whisper that says: You’re just bad at this. You’ll never get better.
Growth mindset is basically the opposite whisper: You’re not good at this… yet.
Tiny word. Big difference.
What Growth Mindset in Real Life Actually Looks Like
Okay, so let’s break this down, because I know when people say “mindset,” it can feel like this vague, woo-woo thing. But I’ve seen it show up in real life in funny, gritty, messy ways:
1. Failing But Laughing Anyway
Like bombing karaoke in front of strangers and deciding, “Yeah, I’m doing that again.” Growth mindset is realizing embarrassment doesn’t kill you.
2. Picking Up Weird Skills Late
I started cooking after I was 30. First few meals? Burnt disasters. My daughter literally asked, “Dad… is this supposed to be crunchy soup?” But now? I can throw down a halfway decent stir fry. Growth mindset is giving yourself permission to suck at first.
3. Watching Other People Win (Without Hating Yourself)
This one’s rough. Seeing your friend’s side hustle blow up while yours is still two Instagram followers and your mom’s “like.” Growth mindset is clapping for them and still believing your turn is possible.
The Science-y Bit (But Chill)
So, real quick—neuroscience backs this up. Your brain literally rewires when you practice new skills or think differently. They call it neuroplasticity. Basically, your brain is less like cement and more like Play-Doh.
When you mess up and try again, your brain builds stronger “I can handle this” pathways. Which is fancy science for: failing forward works.
(If you’re into nerdy deep dives, I once got lost in this Wait But Why post about time, learning, and how our brains trick us. Highly recommend when you’re procrastinating responsibly.)
A Messy List of Times I’ve Felt “Stuck”
- Senior year when I didn’t get into my first-choice college (thought my life was over, spoiler: it wasn’t).
- That one winter I couldn’t stop binge-eating bagels at midnight.
- Starting a new job where the software system looked like hieroglyphics.
- Parent-teacher night when my kid’s teacher politely suggested maybe we work on “home organization skills.” Ouch.
All of those moments? Felt permanent. But they weren’t. Growth mindset showed up slowly, like Queens streetlights flicking on at dusk.
Conversations in My Head (Yes, I Talk to Myself)
Fixed Mindset Me: “You’re not good at this. Stop embarrassing yourself.”
Growth Mindset Me: “Okay, but maybe if we try again, we’ll be slightly less terrible.”
It’s honestly like having two roommates in my brain. One’s dramatic and mean. The other’s chill and keeps saying, “Hey, let’s just see what happens.”
The Cool Part: It Rubs Off on People Around You
When you practice growth mindset in real life, it’s contagious. My son watched me struggle to fix a bike tire last summer. I cursed a lot, but I kept at it. Next week, he was trying to build Lego towers that kept falling—and instead of crying, he said, “I’ll just try again like the bike.”
Boom. Legacy. (Also, yes, I eventually fixed the tire.)
Stuff That Helps Me Stay Unstuck
- Writing bad first drafts of anything (half this blog post started as nonsense in my Notes app).
- Watching YouTube tutorials by teenagers who are somehow better teachers than professionals.
- Saying “yet” out loud when I catch myself thinking “I can’t.”
- Celebrating micro-wins. Like making it through a Monday without losing my MetroCard.
Final Thought (Kinda)
So yeah, growth mindset in real life isn’t about becoming unstoppable in some superhero way. It’s about not staying stuck forever. It’s messy, embarrassing, sometimes hilarious progress.
If you’re feeling like you’re cemented in place right now? You’re not. You’re Play-Doh. You can squish and stretch and rebuild. And honestly—that’s way cooler than pretending you’ve got it all figured out.
