Breath work for beginners……I’m gonna be honest with you — I used to think breath work was just people sitting cross-legged on a beach in California, eyes closed, looking like they’d achieved “zen” while I was over here in Queens, stuck on the E train, trying not to elbow anyone in the ribs. But then one day (true story), I had a mini meltdown at a crowded Trader Joe’s in Forest Hills because they ran out of Everything But the Bagel seasoning. Like, I actually felt my chest tighten. My face got hot. And all I could think was, “I’m about to ugly cry over seasoning. This is not who I am.”
That’s the first time I tried breath work. Not in a yoga studio and on mountain. In the frozen aisle of a grocery store. Five minutes later, I wasn’t exactly enlightened, but I wasn’t crying over bagel spice anymore either.
So What Is Breath Work, Really? (No Fancy Words Here)
Breath work for beginners — that’s literally you and me. It’s just consciously changing how you breathe to calm your nervous system. You don’t need candles and “chakra music.” You don’t need to know what a “pranayama” is. (I still don’t fully.) You just need, well, your lungs.
I used to think, “I breathe all the time. Duh. Why would I need to learn to breathe?” But apparently most of us breathe like stressed-out little hummingbirds — shallow and fast — which can actually make us feel more stressed. Breath work slows things down. It’s like pressing the giant invisible pause button on your body.
How I Accidentally Became a “Breath Work Person”
So after the Trader Joe’s incident (I’m still salty about it, no pun intended), I started experimenting. Nothing formal. Just breathing slowly when I felt overwhelmed — like before presentations at work, or when my kids were arguing about who gets the bigger slice of pizza (literally my real life).
At first I felt silly. I’d sit there, eyes closed, breathing like Darth Vader while my daughter asked, “Mom, are you okay?” But then I realized: five minutes of focused breathing was doing more for my sanity than scrolling Instagram for an hour.
Now I’m that person who, when friends say “I’m so stressed,” I’m like, “Have you tried breathing?” (I’m annoying but in a helpful way.)
The 5-Minute Breath Work Technique That Actually Works (And Doesn’t Feel Weird)
Alright, here’s the part you probably came for. This is the simple technique I use. No fancy names. No app required. Just you, a timer, and air.
Step 1: Find Your Spot
Doesn’t have to be pretty. I’ve done this in the bathroom at JFK airport. Just somewhere you can sit or stand for a few minutes without feeling like a weirdo.
Step 2: Set a Timer for 5 Minutes
This matters. Otherwise you’ll keep peeking at the clock like, “Am I done yet?”
Step 3: The 4-6 Breath
- Inhale through your nose for 4 counts. (Slow, but not forced.)
- Exhale through your mouth for 6 counts. (Like you’re sighing out your worst ex.)
- Repeat. That’s it.
You’re basically making your exhale longer than your inhale, which tells your nervous system, “Hey, we’re safe. Chill.”
Do this for five minutes. If your mind wanders, it’s fine. Bring it back to the count. Or imagine you’re blowing out birthday candles on a cake you really don’t want to share.
Why It Works (Without Sounding Like a Science Lecture)
When you breathe out longer than you breathe in, you activate your parasympathetic nervous system — the “rest and digest” mode. It’s like flipping your inner switch from “subway panic” to “couch nap.”
I’ve tried apps, guided meditations, even a $30 “breathing necklace” (don’t ask). This basic technique still works the best. And it’s free. Which in NYC basically makes it a miracle.
When I Use It (A.K.A. All the Times I Could Lose My Mind)
- Waiting in line at DMV.
- Before a big Zoom call when my hair looks weird.
- On the subway when the train stops for “signal issues” for the 3rd time.
- At night when my brain decides to replay that one embarrassing thing I said in 2013.
It’s like a secret weapon. I don’t even need headphones. Just my breath.
What If You Mess Up? (Spoiler: You Will)
The first few times you’ll feel like you’re doing it wrong. You’ll lose count. You’ll think, “This isn’t working.” That’s normal. The magic isn’t in doing it perfectly. It’s in just doing it.
Once, I got so into counting that I forgot to breathe out and coughed loudly in the middle of a staff meeting. My coworker whispered, “Are you okay?” and I whispered back, “I’m breath working!” She cracked up.
Extra Tips to Make It Stick
Because honestly, good intentions die quick (like all my houseplants).
- Pair it with something you already do. Like brushing your teeth — 5 minutes before bed, breathe.
- Use a sticky note on your laptop that says “Breathe” (mine says “Stop spiraling”).
- Don’t overthink it. Two minutes is better than zero.
I’ve even started teaching my kids. My son calls it “dragon breath” because he exhales loudly like he’s breathing fire. Whatever works.
Is Breath Work a “Cure All”? Nope.
Some blogs will tell you breath work will change your life, fix your trauma, clear your skin, and make your ex apologize. It won’t. It’s not magic. But it will give you a tiny pocket of calm in the chaos. And sometimes that’s all you need to get through the next five minutes without snapping.
I’m not anti-therapy and anti-meds. I’m just pro-anything that gives me a moment to not feel like my head’s about to explode. Breath work does that.
Outbound Links You Could Include:
- A relatable article on stress and breathing techniques: https://www.nytimes.com/well/
- A funny blog about trying weird wellness things: https://www.thecut.com/
Final Ramble about breath work for beginners
I never thought I’d be “that person” telling people to breathe. But here I am. Queens-born, iced coffee in hand, kids yelling in the other room, telling you: if you’re stressed, try this. Five minutes. Inhale for four, exhale for six. You don’t need to be on a yoga mat or a guru. You just need you.
And maybe — just maybe — next time you’re in a crowded Trader Joe’s and they’re out of your favorite seasoning, you won’t lose it. You’ll just breathe.
