Early signs your relationship…….You ever meet someone and think, oh, this might actually not be a disaster? Yeah, me too. And listen, I’ve been around the block enough times in Queens to know the difference between “this is gonna crash and burn like my cousin’s first attempt at making lasagna” and “huh, this could actually go the distance.”
And because heartbreaks, ghostings, and all that modern dating chaos are basically a sport out here, I started noticing the little early signs—the quiet, almost boring clues—that your relationship might actually stand the test of time. Like, not just survive cuffing season, but actually last.
Let me tell you, I’m not writing this from some therapist’s office with a PhD in relationships hanging on the wall. Nah. I’m just a person who’s been dumped in diners, had long walks in Flushing Meadows Corona Park where I swore off dating forever, and then accidentally fell for someone who didn’t make me want to throw my phone into the East River. So yeah. This is messy wisdom from lived-in shoes.
1. You Actually Like Sitting in Silence Together
This sounds small, right? But holy hell, it’s huge.
I once dated this guy where if the conversation slowed down for literally three seconds, he’d start humming the Jeopardy theme song. I thought it was funny… at first. But it was really just covering up the fact that we didn’t actually feel comfortable being quiet together.
When you can sit on the couch, eat cold leftover pizza, scroll TikTok separately, and it doesn’t feel like the awkward family reunion table where nobody knows what to say—that’s gold.
2. Fights Don’t Feel Like World War III
Look, all couples argue. I don’t trust people who say they “never fight.” (Like… are you robots? Or just holding everything in until you explode during an IKEA trip?)
The difference is in how you fight. Do you scream until the neighbors call 311? Or can you disagree, maybe throw in a sarcastic jab or two, and then move on without plotting each other’s downfall?
I knew my current relationship was different when we argued about who left the AC running all day, and instead of sulking for three days like my ex used to, we laughed about the Con Edison bill five minutes later. Growth, baby.
3. Your Friends Don’t Hate Them
This one’s tricky because sometimes friends can be overprotective or low-key jealous. But if literally every friend side-eyes your partner? Red flag.
When I first introduced my boyfriend to my best friend in Astoria, I was nervous. She’s like the human lie detector. But halfway through dinner, they were laughing about some dumb “Queens vs Brooklyn pizza” debate and I just sat there thinking, oh thank God.
Your people should at least tolerate them. If they actually like them? Even better.
4. They Remember the Tiny Things
Not the obvious stuff like your birthday (though… bare minimum). I mean the weird, random details.
Like how I mentioned once—ONCE—that I love strawberry Pop-Tarts but only toasted, and then two weeks later he shows up with them, all warm and wrapped in foil like some kind of suburban love letter.
That’s the stuff.
5. You’re Not Afraid to Be Gross
Okay, hear me out. If you’re months in and still holding in every burp, sneeze, or weird food craving… something’s off.
I realized my relationship was solid when we got Chinese takeout, and halfway through a General Tso’s binge, I sneezed rice all over my sweatshirt. He didn’t flinch. Just handed me a napkin and said, “You want the last dumpling?” That’s romance.
6. You Both Have Separate Lives (and That’s Okay)
Early on, I used to think “true love” meant being glued at the hip 24/7. Spoiler: it doesn’t. It means you can go hang out with your friends, chase your hobbies, or just binge your weird true crime shows—and they’re not blowing up your phone like, “Why didn’t you text me back in 12 minutes?”
When someone’s confident enough to let you be you without panicking? That’s a forever sign.
7. The Bad Days Aren’t Deal Breakers
Because real life isn’t a rom-com. (If it was, my meet-cute would’ve involved Chris Evans spilling coffee on me outside a bodega, not my actual story of getting ghosted after a Mets game.)
Here’s the test: you’re cranky, tired, maybe ugly crying over something dumb like a flat tire or your boss sending passive-aggressive emails at 9 p.m.—and your partner doesn’t bolt. They sit with you in the mess. They maybe even make you laugh in the middle of it.
That’s glue right there.
8. You Actually Talk About the Future (and It Doesn’t Feel Like a Trap)
I’m not saying you need to be planning matching burial plots by month three, but casual “someday” talk? That matters.
Like, “Wouldn’t it be fun to go to Italy together?” Or even, “Maybe next summer we should get a dog.” When it feels natural and exciting—not like someone just handcuffed you—that’s a good sign.
9. You’re Not Playing Detective
You don’t feel the urge to stalk their Venmo, check their phone, or decode their Instagram likes like you’re on CSI: Relationship Edition. You just… trust them.
Wild, right?
For me, it was when I realized I hadn’t even thought to snoop. That’s when I knew I was safe.
10. It Feels Like Home (and Not the Stressful Kind)
This one’s cheesy, but screw it. If you know, you know.
It’s not about butterflies. (Butterflies fade. Also, they kinda feel like indigestion after a while.) It’s about exhaling. Like you can finally put down the armor you’ve been carrying through the dating battlefield of swipes and “u up?” texts.
When I’m with him, it feels like Queens in the summer: messy, loud, smells kinda like pizza and hot garbage—but it’s mine, and I love it.
Final Rambly Thought about early signs your relationship
So yeah. Those are the ten early signs your relationship might actually stand the test of time. Nothing flashy. Nothing Instagram-quote-worthy. Just real, lived-in stuff that adds up to something big.
Because at the end of the day, lasting love isn’t fireworks every night—it’s the comfort of knowing someone’s got your back, whether you’re out at a bar on Steinway or sitting on the couch eating soggy fries at 1 a.m.
And honestly? That’s way better than butterflies.
