So, I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole habits of successful women thing, mostly because every time I scroll Instagram at like 2 a.m. (don’t judge), I end up on some “that girl” routine reel. You know the type: perfect 5 a.m. wake-up, lemon water in a mason jar, Pilates in a matching set that costs more than my rent in Queens, then journaling in handwriting so perfect it looks like a Hallmark card.
And listen, I don’t know if those women are real or if they’re robots sent to make me feel bad about eating a Pop-Tart for breakfast. But here’s what I do know: successful women—the real ones I’ve actually met—are messy. They’re busy. Their habits aren’t always Instagram-pretty. But they work.
I’ve learned this partly the hard way (burnouts, crying in Target parking lots, you name it) and partly by watching women in my life who just… figured it out. So let me spill a little about habits of successful women.
1. They Don’t Pretend to Have It All Together
True story: I once showed up to a meeting wearing two different earrings. Not some cool mismatched fashion choice. I literally grabbed one hoop and one stud because mornings in my house (kids, coffee machine breaking, husband yelling “where are my socks”) feel like running a marathon blindfolded.
And you know what? The most successful woman in that meeting? She noticed and said, “Honestly? That’s kinda chic.” Then she told me she once wore slippers to a presentation because she forgot to change.
Point is: successful women don’t waste time pretending. They’re like, Yep, chaos is real, and I’m still showing up.
2. They Have Non-Negotiables (Even Tiny Ones)
One of my friends, super high up in finance, has a “socks rule.” Doesn’t matter how busy her day is—she always wears matching socks. Because she says if she can’t handle that, she knows the rest of the day will snowball.
For me? Coffee. Non-negotiable. Before emails, before kids’ school drama, before the 17th Slack ping—it’s me, my mug, and the five minutes of peace before Queens starts honking outside my window.
It doesn’t have to be huge. But successful women guard those small rituals like treasure.
3. They Know When to Say “Nope”
I used to be the queen of saying yes. Yes to extra projects, yes to baking 200 cupcakes for the PTA, yes to late-night favors. And then I’d crash—like full face-down-on-the-bed-with-shoes-on crash.
The women I admire? They say no. And not even in a dramatic way. Just calmly, like, “That doesn’t work for me.” No 10-paragraph excuse, no guilt spiral. Just nope.
I tried it once. Someone asked me to join a committee (for something I had zero interest in), and I said, “I can’t.” Guess what happened? NOTHING. The world didn’t end. They found someone else. Wild.
4. They Ask for Help (Without Apologizing)
Okay, this one was rough for me. Growing up, I thought successful women were like Wonder Woman. Do everything, fix everything, bake a pie, save the world, all while wearing heels.
Reality check: even Wonder Woman had a team.
I watched my neighbor—single mom, total boss—ask her teenage son to handle dinner one night. And when he burned the chicken, she just ordered pizza and laughed. No apology. No “sorry I couldn’t do it all.”
I’ve started doing this too. I ask my kids to fold laundry. Is it folded? Kinda. Is it functional? Yes. Am I less exhausted? Absolutely.
5. They Fail… Loudly
This one stings, but it’s true. The most successful women I know fail all the time, and they don’t hide it.
My mentor once pitched this huge idea at work, and it flopped. Like, embarrassingly. Instead of crying in the bathroom (which I definitely would’ve done), she walked out and said, “Well, that didn’t work. What’s next?”
It blew my mind. Because I realized the secret wasn’t avoiding failure—it was not letting failure sit in the driver’s seat.
Quick List (Because Sometimes We Need It Simple)
- Write stuff down. (Because no one’s brain is that reliable.)
- Take weird little breaks. (One woman I know knits for 10 minutes between meetings.)
- Move your body somehow. (Dance in the kitchen counts. Yes, it does.)
- Laugh at your own chaos. (Seriously, what’s the alternative?)
- Don’t compare your routine to Instagram’s version. (That’s a losing game.)
6. They Protect Their Energy Like It’s Rent Money
This one hit me hard: energy is basically currency. You spend it all on the wrong people, the wrong work, the wrong nonsense—you’re broke before 10 a.m.
Successful women are like bouncers at the club of their own life. If something drains them for no good reason? Not on the list.
Sometimes this means leaving group chats that stress you out or ghosting that friend who only calls to complain. Sometimes it’s putting your phone on Do Not Disturb at 9 p.m. (radical, I know).
7. They Celebrate the Small Wins
Here’s the thing: life is basically just a string of small wins stacked up. Successful women don’t wait for a promotion or a million dollars to celebrate.
I once saw my friend literally cheers with a glass of wine because she finally figured out how to use her printer without crying. And you know what? That joy carried her into the next day.
So yes, I celebrated last week when I found both my kids’ shoes in under five minutes. Don’t underestimate the power of a small victory party.
8. They Don’t Let “Busy” Equal “Important”
This one’s sneaky. We think being busy makes us successful. Nope. Being busy just makes you tired.
One woman I know in publishing told me, “If my calendar’s too full, it means I’m not thinking clearly.” She purposely schedules “nothing” blocks in her week. Like literally blocks labeled “nothing.”
I started doing it. At first, I felt guilty, like I was cheating. But guess what? That space is when I get my best ideas—or just breathe without someone yelling “MOM!”
9. They Keep Growing (Even If It’s Messy)
Every successful woman I know reads, learns, experiments—sometimes in the weirdest ways. One took a ceramics class at 50. Another started coding at 40.
I downloaded Duolingo to learn Italian. I lasted three weeks. Am I fluent? No. But did I stretch my brain and laugh at myself saying “formaggio” a hundred times? Yes.
Growth isn’t about being perfect. It’s about staying curious.
Final Messy Truth about habits of successful women
The habits of successful women aren’t these big, shiny, unattainable rituals. They’re tiny choices, little boundaries, and sometimes straight-up chaos management.
They’re not about being perfect—they’re about showing up, messy earrings and all.
And if you need one takeaway, it’s this: successful women don’t try to copy someone else’s life. They make their own rules, their own non-negotiables, their own weird little habits.
So if your habit is blasting Beyoncé while folding laundry or keeping chocolate in your desk drawer for emergencies—guess what? That counts.
Because honestly? Success isn’t about the lemon water. It’s about building a life that actually works for you.
Suggested Outbound Links:
- Cup of Jo – for messy, real-life stories about women.
- The Everygirl – lifestyle tips from women figuring it out too.
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