So here’s the thing: remote work productivity is one of those phrases that sounds like it belongs in a $29 ebook written by a guy who lives in Bali and claims he works “4 hours a week.” Meanwhile, me? I’m in Queens, staring at my laptop at 8:07 a.m., already on my third cup of coffee, while my cat is literally sitting on my keyboard like she owns a Fortune 500 company.
Working from home was supposed to be the dream, right? No commute. Pajamas all day. Freedom. And yeah, all that is technically true. But what no one told me was how easy it is to… well… spiral. You ever sit down to work and somehow end up on YouTube watching 2008 blooper reels of The Office? (Just me? Okay.)
Anyway, over the last few years, I’ve kinda hacked my way into staying focused enough to not only keep my job but actually grow in it. And since people keep asking how, I figured I’d spill the messy, real-life strategies that actually work.
The Myth of the “Perfect Routine”
You know those morning routine videos where people wake up at 5 a.m., do yoga on a balcony, blend a green smoothie, journal their dreams, then start work with perfect hair? Yeah… that’s not me.
My morning looks more like:
- Alarm goes off at 7:15 (snoozed twice).
- Coffee brewed but forgotten until it’s lukewarm.
- Laptop opened on the couch while my daughter asks why YouTube Kids isn’t loading.

And you know what? That’s fine. Remote work productivity isn’t about having a flawless routine—it’s about finding little anchors that stop you from completely drifting.
Anchor #1: The Fake Commute
This one sounds dumb, but trust me—it works. Back when I first started working from home, I rolled out of bed straight into work. Bad idea. My brain was like, “Wait, are we awake? Are we dreaming? Are we still in sweatpants? Who’s in charge here?”
Now I do this thing called a fake commute. Basically, I walk around the block, grab a bagel from the corner deli (Queens has the best bagels, fight me), then come back home and start work. It’s short, it’s simple, and it tricks my brain into work mode.
Tip: If walking outside feels like too much, even just blasting a “commute playlist” while making coffee works.
Anchor #2: The 3-Hour Rule
Remote work gives you this illusion that you have endless time. You don’t. You just… waste it differently.
So I made up what I call the 3-hour rule. Pick three hours in your day—doesn’t matter which ones—where you’re laser-focused. Like, no laundry, no dishes, no scrolling TikTok (which is basically just falling into a black hole of dance videos and cooking hacks you’ll never use).
Those three hours? That’s your “career growth” time. That’s when you work on the stuff that actually moves the needle—not just answering emails like a robot.
Anchor #3: The Outfit Trick
Okay, I fought this one for so long. “Why would I wear real pants when I could wear sweatpants?” But here’s the truth: what you wear changes how you feel.
I’m not saying you need to dress like you’re about to present on Wall Street, but even just swapping pajamas for jeans and a clean shirt makes me feel like I’m in “let’s get sh*t done” mode.
And on camera? Yeah, people can tell when you look like you rolled out of bed.
Distractions: The Real Enemy
Here’s a quick list of things that have ruined my remote work productivity:
- Neighbors blasting bachata at 11 a.m.
- The Amazon delivery guy who always needs my signature.
- Group chats that blow up right when I hit flow.
- My own brain, which suddenly thinks now is the perfect time to reorganize my spice rack.
So what do I do? Two things:
- Noise-canceling headphones. Even without music, they’re like armor.
- Timers. I set a 25-minute timer (Pomodoro-style) and tell myself: “Don’t look at your phone until this dings.” Sometimes I cheat. But mostly? It works.
The Career Growth Part Nobody Talks About
Everyone’s obsessed with “focus hacks,” but here’s the secret: being productive is only half the game. The other half is making sure people actually see the work you’re doing.
When you’re remote, it’s way too easy to disappear. Out of sight, out of promotion.
So I started doing this thing: at the end of the week, I send my boss a short Slack message. Something like, “Hey, wrapped up X project, making progress on Y, next week planning Z.”
That tiny move? Huge difference. Suddenly people think, “Wow, you’re on top of it.” Even if half the time, you were fighting with your Wi-Fi and your cat walked across the keyboard mid-meeting.
My Weird Productivity Hacks (Don’t Judge)
- Two desks. Okay, technically one’s a kitchen table, but I switch spots midday just to “reset.”
- Work candle. Yep, I light a specific candle when I start work. My brain associates the smell with focus now.
- Talking to myself. Like out loud. I’ll literally say, “Okay, finish this slide deck, then you can eat that leftover pizza.” It weirdly works.
Things That Absolutely Don’t Work (For Me)
- Forcing myself to wake up at 5 a.m. (I tried, I cried, I gave up).
- Multitasking chores during meetings (you will get caught folding laundry on Zoom).
- Sitting in bed with my laptop. Instant nap trap.
The Bottom Line (if I had to pretend to be wise)
Remote work productivity isn’t about having your life together. It’s about building tiny rituals and boundaries that make chaos manageable. And honestly? It’s about forgiving yourself on the days when you get nothing done. (We all have those days. Elon Musk probably has those days, though he’d never admit it.)
The trick is: keep showing up, keep tweaking your system, and don’t let the couch swallow you whole.
Outbound Links
- Funny read: Why your cat thinks it’s your boss
- Practical: Pomodoro Technique explained